Before I begin, please let me say that I am not pointing a finger at anyone nor do we love anyone the less just because we are from the old school and they are from a newer school. We each have to find our own way to live our lives to the fullest, love each other, respect each other and so forth. But for Dick and I, we are from the old school.

When we traveled to Florida and back in May of 2009, I left there with a feeling of forlorn and not really understanding why I was feeling that way. I thought maybe it was because we were once again leaving our children behind as we traveled home to Tennessee. I was so confused over the feelings that I never mentioned them to Dick. I’m good at “stuffing” my feelings unless I have a good reason to expose them.

Well, we  made another trip to Florida because Dick wanted the chance to see his brother one more time before he died. So off we went and Dick got to spend several days with him in Hope Hospice and on Tuesday in his own home where they brought him to die. Deb, Dick’s sister had flew down from Ohio to take care of him.

Dick also enjoyed seeing our grand kids and being able to spend time with them. Then we were headed home. I was dealing once more with those feelings. On the way down we had heard a country song on the radio “We’re from the old school” and on the way home I began thinking about it and the words. Then to my surprise Dick began to talk about his feelings and how disappointed he was at how we were treated by some. So we began dialoguing about the “old school” and soon it was becoming clear to what we were feeling and we were able to discuss it openly. We readily agreed that we are from the “old school.”

Let me explain if I can. We were raised to respect each other in our families and to love them no matter what. We were taught to “open doors”, say “please” and “thank you” and to always favor those who were not always with us all the time. Company always came first. We would cancel plans just to be there with company and to show them good old school hospitality so to speak. Never would or could we ever think of telling someone that we had other plans or had to be at work if we knew their visit was a short one and that it would be awhile before we saw them again. We were raised that it was only fitting to cancel our own plans to accommodate whoever was visiting. No way would we get up and walk out of a room leaving company to fend for themselves. Just how we were raised.

Yet we found ourselves entertaining ourselves for the most part and leaving for home without anyone there to see us off. Left us with a feeling of void. Now we are not dumb and know that sometimes things just happen that we have no control over. Sometimes work takes top priority. But we would see that someone, somehow was there.

We were amazed that our niece not only greeted us outside as we drove to her place but they spent the entire time sitting with us and showing pictures. What a blessing. Then there was Greg who knew we would arrive late in the evening and we had planned on leaving when he left the next morning for work. But he also is from the old school and when we woke up, he had called into work to say he’d be late and he had prepared breakfast for us and then helped us load the car so that we could travel on to Fort Myers to see Todd. This gave us a feeling of being cared for and we really appreciated it. Yet others, although they love us and we love them, had their own lives to live and went on with it. Even our granddaughter that we had helped to raise, got up and went outside just leaving us sitting. Didn’t even bother to ask us to go outside with her. Just got up and went. We went back to our room with a feeling of not being wanted, yet we do understand that we are from the old school.

Dick and I agreed that we feel sorry for those who have not learned these lessons. They are missing out on so much of what family and friends are all about. We have a generation of children who will never know their extended families and relatives. They won’t know about their background or where they came from. They will have no connection to the past. And because they don’t know, they don’t want to know. They feel it is ok and life goes on. Dick and I wander who will tell their children who they really are and where they really came from. Who will tell them where their “roots” run.

Yes, we are from the “Old School.” We know where relatives live, died and are buried. We know where we come from and where our roots lie. We love visiting the “old home” places and cemeteries and learning who this person was that belonged to our family. Gives us a sense of belonging and worth that cannot be described in simple terms.

Dick has always had a time dealing with his feelings and it was no different this time. But by talking it through and seeing our family for who they are and not what we could make them be, finally put our feelings to rest. Our hurt turned to pity for things they will never know or feel. We are just two old folks from the Old School who love their kids and grand kids.